Hello World!

Hi everyone! I'm the Valley Girl Engineer! I work in the Bay Area (holla!) for a small start-up doing back-end enterprise software. When I first got there, they were all like, "Our back-end is like, all Java", and I was like, "Oh gawd. Only losers can't manage their own memory." So I like took a week to re-write everything in C and C++ and everything is like hella-faster. And they were like, "Wow, you know so much about, like, programming. You should totally blog." Okay they didn't say it exactly like that because they're lame-o's, but whatev. I have to work with a bunch of guys who don't know what hair gel is.

So at first I was like, "Ew, only, like, losers and fake CEOs do that! I'm getting split-ends just thinking about it!" 'Cause like, I've got an active social life, you know? And when I'm not flirting with bouncers to get into clubs, I'm, like, you know, coding? You know, what a valley girl engineer's life should be like? Who has time for blogging? It's all "Boo hoo, my parents weren't, like, rich and didn't buy me a Range Rover for my Sweet 16, so I'm gonna whine on the Internet about it." Please, loser. Whatever, I'm over it.

But then they were like, "You're the only valley girl engineer we know. You could totally change the way people think about valley girls!" And then I was like, "Hell yeah! Oh my gawd that is so true. You guys rock!" So I started my blog! Isn't it awesome?

Anyway, I'll probably post some, like, code samples and stuff. I've got this wicked O(1) sorting algorithm that I originally wrote to design a comb that optimally untangles hair, but my company won't let me post it. Hella-lame. But I'm super-tired, and I need my beauty sleep. Ciao!